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Joke of the Day

"What does a girl do to her as asshole before having the most crazy sex of her life? She leaves him at home"

"Riddle me this. What do mortal men love more than life? Fear more than death, or mortal strife? What do rich men need, that the poor have, which the content desire."

"How many people of a certain ethnicity does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the lightbulb; the other nine to act in a manner stereo-typically associated with said ethnicity."

"I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out... I say bought I actually stole it off a short fat, ginger kid"

"A blind man Walks into a bar A table and a chair"

"All these people on FB posting pics of their kids makes feel so blessed...I don't have ugly children."

"I told her love was all about sacrifice, but she still screamed when she saw the dead goat."

"My friend told me he hasn't pooped in a week. I told him he was full of shit."

"What does D.N.A. stand for? National Dyslexia Association"

"Shock me once, shame on you. Shock me twice, that's just revolting."