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Joke of the Day

"It was the Middle Ages. There's no way Rapunzel didn't have lice."

"Relationship status: Sitting in Home Depot parking lot, car hood open, and asking men if they can jump me."

"I now have an EpiPen My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed really important that I have it, I will cherish forever."

"What kind of meth do nerds like? Xbox SmartGlass"

"What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire? Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one"

"The last Hillary Clinton email joke... [defeated]"

"Teacher: Why are you late? Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill. Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it? Student: No. I was standing on it."

"I went for a run. I was out 2 minutes before I had to return because I forgot something... ...I forgot that I'm fat and can't run for more than 2 minutes"

"Why do married men love golf so much? Because it's not the same three holes over and over again."

"Let me clarify that I am not racist. We have a black in my family tree. We just haven't cut him down yet."