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Joke of the Day

"Eastern Europe - 1989 ""If we leave the Soviet Union, we might have to get visas to visit Siberia and turnips will be more expensive"""

"I'm reading the newspaper with a vengeance. This time it's personals."

"Q: How many Italians does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to change it and one to sprinkle it with Parmesan."

"Sorry in advance Why did Helen Keller dog kill itself? You would to if your name was aaaaaaaauuuuggggfdddshnvxxkjkuuokkgdsgj"

"Yesterday I was telling my friend that my chiropodist improved my posture ... He pointed out that it was in fact my chiropractor. I stand corrected."

"(accidentally invented when heard words out of context) What kind of food did Hitler eat? Notseafood"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap the mosquito it stops sucking."

"Right now the parents of the kid who climbed Trump Tower are thinking ""Damn I knew we shouldn't have given him that REI gift card"""

"A skeleton walks into a bar and says... ""Barkeeper, I'll have a beer and a mop"""

"Ladies, never agree to do an@l, save it for when you do something so bad a blowjob can't fix things."