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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you slap the mosquito it stops sucking."

"Been having a problem with diarrhea & its unbearable The doc said lemons will help I said I know but as soon as I take 1 out it starts again"

"Left handed people can't do anything right. That... that's it. That's the joke. You don't get it? Then you're probably left handed."

"Her: *smiles* You fill those out very nicely. Me: (looks at jeans)Thanks. Bank Teller: Sir, could you please pass back the forms? Me: Ohh!"

"whoever thinks money doesn't bring happiness, transfer it to my account."

"What do you get when you cross a Jedi with a nun? a force of habit"

"I had an idea for a plane with no wings but it never really took off."

"My Dog voilet Rules My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away."

"Siri: Retweet me."

"I was going down on a quadriplegic.... When all of a sudden I tasted horse cum and thought, ""oh Grandma.... so THAT'S how you died."""