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Joke of the Day

"If I had a bodyguard, I'm pretty sure he'd just spend most of his time sighing and saying ""Don't eat that..."""

"The Mongols In the early days of their empire the mongols were openly mocked by their enemies for being so small and weak. Needless to say, Genghis khan really *stepped* up to the challenge."

"What do you call a woman with an opinion? Wrong"

"What does a rich fat Englishman gain? Lots of Pounds."

"What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist? THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!"

"Me: I really don't have any bad habits to speak of. Her: So you have no bad habits? Me: No, I have plenty! Just none I'd want to speak of."

"""Maybe again but kind of bad?"" - sequels"

"Why couldn't R get to P? He had to wait in a Q!"

"What is a Dutchman who lost his driving license? Homeless."

"Say what you will about grammar nazis At least they aren't anti-semantic."