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Joke of the Day

"[sitting in doctor's office] It's bad news. You have a rare case of contagious memory loss. ""What do you mean?"" I can't remember."

"I bought a time machine. I bought a second hand time machine next Tuesday. They don't make them like they're going to anymore."

"[On date] Her - ""so your profile said you like classical music? I love Mozart & Bach, how about you?"" Me - ""Jurassic Park theme"""

"Did you know about this breed of horses? This breed can jump higher than the average house. You might think, WOW, how can this be? Well, it has very strong legs and the average house can't jump."

"What do you call a Mexican who has his Mondeo stolen? Carlos"

"What's the difference between a tv remote and a newborn? You can't play football with the remote."

"I just heard about it and I totally think I am... What if I'm a hypochondriac?"

"whats black and burns? stevie wonder answering the iron"

"What's the most difficult thing about roller-blading? Telling your parents that you are a faggot!"

"Women are like raincoats. In a box in my attic marked ""raincoats."""