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Joke of the Day

"A fox: People aren't so bad. I hear they named a news station after us. [Watches 1 minute of Hannity] We attack the humans at dawn."

"I once knew a girl who confused a tube of KY jelly... for a tube of super glue. I asked her how it happened... her lips were sealed."

"gordon brown is so boring, if he were a spice girl, his name would be ""salt"""

"Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11....... a suicide."

"Bend over, little fairy... ...a wish is a wish."

"What do you call a kid that stands up to bullies? An ambulance."

"Leonardo: Let's go rescue April!! Donatello: Let's do it! Raphael: Bodacious!! Michelangelo: Totally!! Vincent: *cuts off ear* give her this"

"*Semi drifts into my driveway, transforms into a robot and hands me my package.* This Amazon Optimus Prime account was so worth it."

"[gets found guilty of murder] [sentenced to 3 years of listening to Pitbull on repeat] [appeals] [gets sentence reduced to lethal injection]"

"What did baby corn say to mama corn? Where's popcorn?"