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Joke of the Day

"A fox: People aren't so bad. I hear they named a news station after us. [Watches 1 minute of Hannity] We attack the humans at dawn."

"I cry when I cut my carrots because I don't want my onions to feel awkward."

"How can a man go 7 days without sleeping? Sleep at night"

"A skeleton walks into a bar... The bartender asks, ""Hey skeleton, what'll it be?"" The skeleton replies, ""I will have a beer...and a mop."""

"Of course Goldman Sachs called their clients ""muppets"" Some of them ended up living in garbage cans."

"What person strives to ensure safety for horses? Ralph Neighder!"

"Two types of people that irritate me: 1. A drunk person when I'm sober. 2. A sober person when I'm drunk."

"My girlfriends dad asked me what I do Apparently, ""your daughter"" wasnt the right answer"

"Dr. Frankenstein entered a bodybuilding competition... ...and discovered that he'd gravely misunderstood the objective."

"What do you call a fake Apple product? An i-phony"