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Joke of the Day

"[gets found guilty of murder] [sentenced to 3 years of listening to Pitbull on repeat] [appeals] [gets sentence reduced to lethal injection]"

"A liberal is just a conservative that hasn't been mugged yet."

"The roads must have been full of Communists... I kept hitting reds on the way home."

"My wife is fucking awesome. Although usually I prefer to go by Steven."

"What do you call a goat that likes cheese with their pasta? Maaaac"

"What's the best part about dating a Muslim The sex is explosive"

"Hey girl, is your dad a plumber? Because I wanna shit in your mouth."

"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and a chain saw? A: A chain saw has a dynamic range."

"My son came into the room and said there was a man knocking the door with a beard. That's probably why I didn't hear him."

"I figure soon we will be grounding our children by sending them outside to play"