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Joke of the Day

"What idiot decided to call them koalas instead of awww-stralians?"

"Man, that's a cold joke... but, Icee what you did there."

"Next on *Will it Blend?* Marijuana! ***Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr*** *opens lid* ""Ahh, you can *definitely* breathe this."""

"A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish. It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish."

"When you really want fried potatoes, just remember.... Keep your eyes on the fries"

"Did some stand up at a bird sanctuary... They were eating out of the palm of my hands."

"What do you get when you mix a elephant and a rhino? Elephino!"

"Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax."

"What do you call a cow with two legs? Your mother!"

"Who did the ghost invite to his party? Anyone he could dig up."