362

Joke of the Day

"NSFW Men are like a deck of cards... You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to smash his fucking face in and a spade to bury the bastard!"

"What do you call an Arab riding a camel with a goat on a leash? Bisexual."

"Why can't mimes finish marathons? Because they can't get past ""the wall""."

"""Sir you can't bring your dog onto the plane"" [labradoodle puts on tiny pilot hat] ""Omg captain I'm so sorry"""

"What was Whitney Houston's biggest hit? Her last one"

"I want to grab some Mexican tonight and then maybe have some dinner with him"

"What's under there?"

"What do vegetarian dogs eat? Bark!"

"The faster I type in my password, the more secret agent-y I feel."

"name a hurricane ""Jesus"" cuz then u could say ""Jesus is coming"" & have unaware ppl frantically prepare for rapture"