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Joke of the Day

"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's fuckin' worth it. A friend's divorce is being finalized today and he often says this."

Next Joke
 
"What did the leper say to the prostitute? You can keep the tip"
"'Noah' plot hole: THE FOOD CHAIN."
"How do you make a baby cry twice? Rub the blood off your dick on his teddy bear"
"What do you call a blond standing on her head? A brunette with bad breath."
"Reddit is like a shiny new penny It's fun to look at but completely worthless :P"
"My boss wanted me to sign up for the company 401k. I told him, ""No way, do you have any idea how far that is?"""
"I intend to live forever... or die trying."
"You know what really breaks my heart? Cholesterol."
"My Korean girlfriend once cooked me a pie made from scratch. I was gutted. I loved that dog. Mark Restuccia"