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Joke of the Day

"How many 2nd trumpets does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They can't get that high! (My band teacher told me that one today)"

"Did you hear Oxygen and Magnesium are dating now? OMg !!!"

"Renee Zellweger is living proof that if you keep making that face it's going to be stuck that way forever"

"What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac do at night? He stays up wondering if there really is a dog."

"Why didn't the bunny get the job as a marsupial? He wasn't koalafied!"

"Did you hear the one about Dorian Gray's stool sample? That shit NEVER gets old."

"I only watch Storage Wars to see if they find my ex's body. Just kidding. I like the show. And she's buried in the woods."

"What is the easiest way to kill a frenchman? Break his neck by slamming down the toilet seat, while he is drinking. - Otto von Bismarck"

"I think I might be suffering from anorexia. Every time I look in the mirror I just see a fat guy."

"What do you call a person who keeps falling over? Tripical"