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Joke of the Day

"Writing a romcom about a human centipede front that falls in love with a human centipede back. Middle guy is the comic relief ""cockblocker"""

"I'm aging like an avocado. By the time I finally noticed my prime it was too late."

"Just once I'd like a number between 1 and 10 to think of me."

"What do you call a handjob from a midget? A jump and touch."

"Life would be so much better if there were pinatas strategically placed throughout your day."

"Ask me if I'm a tree. Huh? Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No."

"As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son's love, I sometimes think to myself, ""This may be the worst prize ever."""

"Startle and amuse your cat by replacing its kitty litter with Poprocks. (Ladies: feel free to share this idea on your pinny website thing.)"

"What does a gay horse eat? HAAAAAAAAAY"

"A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it as long as you want but it won't go anywhere."