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Joke of the Day

"A man asks his friend on skype.. ""Is that a condom on your hand?"" the friend replies "" no Its a fucking glove"". The man replies ""Thats exactly what i am saying""."

"I feel bad for people without arms... ... They can't rapidly take off their bottoms when they need to take a massive dump."

"there once was a wonderful poet who knew that one day he woud blow it cuz his poems woud rhyme most of the time but occasionaly they didnt"

"I just invented a new word: plagiarism."

"I'm a Polish student in the UK Today the cashier in ASDA asked me if I needed help packing my bags. The Brexit is worse than I thought..."

"Losing your phone is the adult version of having your balloon fly away."

"Yo momma so fat, when she blushes People mistake her for the Blood Moon"

"If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you."

"How many apples grow on a tree? All of them."

"Thanks to Twitter, rock bottom now has a waiting list."