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Joke of the Day

"I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert... ... He tossed me a dollar and said ""take your brother"""

"what lies dead, a hundred feet in the air? a dead centipede"

"It's a far cry for Pokemon Omega Ruby to catch up to Alpha Sapphire in sales https://games.yahoo.com/blogs/plugged-in/xbox-one-surges-to-console-victory-in-november-012230994.html"

"What do we want? Procrastination! When do we want it? We will get around to it sooner or later."

"How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change."

"If two Rednecks get divorced... are they still cousins?"

"Millions are killed each year because they go potty without checking behind the shower curtain first. Be smart. Peep before you poop."

"I heard today that Stevie Wonder was getting a divorce, so sad he didn't even see it coming."

"Imagine William Shatner -Knock knock. -Who's there? - Genghis -Genghis who? -KHHHHAAAAAANNNNNN!!!!!!!"

"How do you make a dead baby float? Nail a piece of styrofoam to its head."