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Joke of the Day
"How do you make a dead baby float? Nail a piece of styrofoam to its head."
Next Joke
"[god creatig god] GOD: make him omnipotent & onmipresent ANGEL: ok... GOD: and also provide no evidence he exists ANGEL: ru sure GOD: trust me"
"So I was sitting in traffic the other day... got run over."
"So I was going to blame my pet ostrich for a crime i committed But my lawyer advised that it wouldn't fly in court."
"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND *holds up a cat*"
"knock knock! who's there? i eat mop... :]"
"I told you I'm busy! Who are you going to believe, me or the last 20 tweets I posted?"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? Don't know To get to the idiots house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken"
"I once knew a guy... I once knew a man who gave up smoking, drinking alcohol, eating rich food and sex. He lived healthy until he killed himself."
"You hear the one about the transgender student? He spent his Junior year a broad."