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Joke of the Day

"Two guys are walking when they come across a dog on the sidewalk, licking his balls. One guys says, ""I wish I could do that."" The other guy says, ""You better pet him first to make sure he's friendly."""

"What do you call it when you go down on a paraplegic? Meals on wheels"

"My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed."

"Aww, it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand."

"What's it like to work in customer service/retail? Imagine there's a race of people called customers. Now imagine you're a huge racist."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue? He took a sip of his coffee before it was cool."

"Did you know what 6.9 is? its a good thing screwed up by a period"

"The inventor of the Oxford Comma has died. Tributes have been lead by JK Rowling, his wife and the Queen of England."

"How many pessimists does it take to change a light bulb? One, although it's probably screwed in too tight anyway."

"A car salesman says to me... ""Buy this car and pay no interest for a year!"" ""That's stupid"". I said, ""why the hell would I buy something that I'm not going to be interested in for an entire year?!"""