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Joke of the Day

"therapist: ""remember there are no stupid questions"" wife: ""okay"" therapist: ""keith you start"" me: ""do sharks ever need to have a bath?"""

Next Joke
 
"what keeps the lions from leaving the savannah the ele-fence"
"Listen auto-correct, I've never tweeted about a duck. But I've tweeted the word fuck over 2648 times. Smart phone my ass."
"911: What's your emergency? Me: Do you think I'm pretty"
"Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm."
"Did you hear about the houses that fell in love? It was a lawn-distanced relationship"
"How do you make a little girl cry twice? Wipe you dick off on her teddy bear. I...I'm sorry. I was told this by a schoolmate in middle school."
"What do Aussies call mates? Cunts. ""Sup cunt""."
"Some jerk called me ""pretentious"" so I called him a ""planktupus."" I can make up nonsense words too."
"What do you call somebody who is anti-vaccines? An idiot, just a god damn idiot."