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Joke of the Day

"A pack of coyotes shrieking at 3:12 AM is less unsettling if you instead imagine it's a bachelorette party that just got a limo upgrade."

"Shout out to the ampersand for always being willing to stand in the gap & help make our tweets complete by giving back those extra two lette"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Butter ! Butter who ? Butter wrap up - it's cold out here !"

"Sleeping pills? Who needs those? We've got PowerPoint."

"""Hey does it smell like I took a shit?"" ah, sulfur so good."

"I sprayed a fly with Axe body spray. He'll live, but he won't get laid."

"What kind of trees watch kids in Mexico? Baby cedar"

"People ask me how I got a BMI of 21.2. I tell them, ""I just did the meth""."

"Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had not arms."

"Saw sign in yoga store: Do One Thing A Day That Scares You. So today I start raping coyotes."