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Joke of the Day

"A vegan, a crossfitter, and an atheist are sitting in a bar. But you wouldnt know it, thanks to the Texan telling you all about Texas"

"When the picture of the vampire's grandmother crashed to the floor in the middle of the night what did it mean? That the nail had come out of the wall."

"Two peanuts were walking down the street One was assaulted"

"A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder The doctor says ""what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"" The parrot replies ""Africa there's millions of them"""

"'It's ok, I'm from the internet', I whisper from under your bed as you call the police."

"A bear and a rabbit are both taking a shit in the woods The bear says, ""Do you have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?"" Rabbit: ""No, not at all."" So the bear wipes himself with the rabbit."

"What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs? Cuntswaylow Bonus: what do you call an Asian woman with no legs? Dragon lips"

"(Restaurant joke) What's the difference between a Jew and a canoe? Canoes tip."

"""Who let the dogs out?!"" - Pavlov getting angry"

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free"