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Joke of the Day

"A vegan, a crossfitter, and an atheist are sitting in a bar. But you wouldnt know it, thanks to the Texan telling you all about Texas"

"Why did the newspaper cross the street? To get to the other side of the story."

"I was gonna tell a gay joke... butt fuck it."

"Why was Darth Vader so upset? He was looking for the Rebels in Aldeerwrong places..."

"What do you call it when... A guy from Massachusetts doesn't pull out? A Boston cream pie!"

"what retail store does a cat go to when it loses it's tail? a retail sto- goddamn it I did it again"

"My wife just left me because I spent our life savings on a penis enlargement... She couldn't take it any longer"

"My eyesight is good, but my strongest sense is non."

"Next year for Halloween I think I will be a dead chrysanthemum.... Then when people ask ""WTF are you"", I will reply and say ""I am a chrysanthemummy!"""

"An old drunk stumbles into a confessional. After not hearing anything for a while the Priest knocked on the wall. The drunk said forget it buddy there's no paper in here either."