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Joke of the Day
"What's long and smells like shit? The unemployment line."
Next Joke
"Lindsey Lohan is going to be charged with a felony tomorrow. In other news, restaurants serve food."
"My friends are weird. They keep vegetables in their beer crisper. Freaks"
"Jury awards $22 million to man locked in closet by East Cleveland police for four days with no food or toilet. R Kelly is going to sue the East Cleveland police for copyright infringement."
"[dinner w/friends] ""How long you two been married?"" It's been thirt- (wife shaking head) teenish twenty- (still shaking) for a long time."
"If a group of necrophiliacs ran into group of zombies...who would do the chasing? Oh, I went there...;)"
"Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas this year. Luke: What, How is that possible!? Vader: I felt your presents. Luke: NOOOOOOO"
"Carly is a pirate. Because X marks the spot."
"Cop: we have you surrounded! Get down on the ground now! Cardboard Man: sigh not again *cops start breakdancing*"
"How do you know your friend has been at the gym? Don't worry, he'll tell you."