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Joke of the Day

"Joke from a 5 year old kid: how come dinosaurs don't talk? me: ...why? kid: because they are all dead. source: stolen from Brian Reagan's standup."

"""Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever."""

"What do hurricanes most like to eat for dessert? -Candy Canes"

"I used to have a job impersonating a German composer. Bach in the day!. (I take no credit for this - as I read it in a magazine)"

"Two Congressmen are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, ""Pass the soap."" The second one says, ""No SOPA, radio!"""

"Hash browns not tags."

"Did you hear about the protestors killing the circus? They went straight for the juggler."

"Why didn't the Mexican go now hunting? Because he didn't habanero."

"A funny thing to do when someone's dog barks at you is say, ""I don't speak dog,"" and then when they leave the room, speak dog fluently."

"What do you call a kid with one arm and three legs? Unfortunate."