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Joke of the Day

"I struggle with an intense fear of becoming disabled It's crippling"

"Keep calm and text a random number...""I'm pregnant"""

"Breaking news: A helicopter has crash landed into a cemetery in Ireland The pilots didn't survive, and so far local police have recovered 956 bodies."

"They're marketing headphones specifically for gorillas now Rumor has it they'll be called Harambeats. I'm so sorry."

"How do blondes carpool? They meet up a work"

"I walked in a Library... I walked in a library and asked the librarian for a book about small penises. The librarian said, ""I'm not sure if it's in yet"". I replied ""Yeah, that's the one"""

"The UPS guy tried to tell me a joke but I just didn't get it... Left after Attempted Delivery"

"Bored? Sneak a dog into the movies and loudly explain the plot to the dog"

"Why did the carpenter's wife leave him? He was screwing around when he was supposed to be nailing her."

"Why is it hard to break up with a Japenese girl? ...you have to drop the bomb twice in order for her to get it."