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Joke of the Day

"Bored? Sneak a dog into the movies and loudly explain the plot to the dog"

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"A kiss will make her day But anal will make her hole weak"
"What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.70 a packet and deer nuts are under a buck"
"I tried to be a pornstar But apparently that type of content breaks Terms of Service on Vine"
"I asked a homeless woman if I could take her home. She shyly said yes.... so I took her cardboard box and left."
"Bumper stickers are how we tell people we only had $1.50 to spend on a belief system."
"Q: Do you know why the new football stadium they built in Warsaw could not be used? A: No matter where you sat you were behind a Pole."
"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's some really obscure number. You've probably never even heard of it."
"[installing program] Operation Status: 1 min left Me: Yes! Finally! *30 minutes later* Operation Status: 60 mins left Me: Wait. What?"
"The first rule of winter sex The one who has a running nose has to be under the other."