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Joke of the Day
"What body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Spine"
Next Joke
"Mary was in the prophet making business"
"In the beginning, people laughed at my penguin army. No one's laughing now. I'm receiving treatment and everyone's been really supportive."
"I just put BOTH my legs into one pajama pant leg...making me a MERMAID!"
"What do you call a half native pirate? Metis"
"What did the plant say to the vegan? Leaf me alone."
"Why is Chuck Norris still alive? ## Because he's afraid of meeting Bruce Lee on the other side! Credit: Saw the comment in this [tribute video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8wL3AA4BP0) [1:55]"
"What do you tell a pornstar right before their video to pump them up? Get your head in the game."
"Last night, my Chevy was bitten by a vampire. Now it's Vlad the Impala."
"[me narrating a documentary about the pyramids] I really want a Toblerone for some reason."