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Joke of the Day

"Help, I accidentally ... build a shelf?!? What should I do?"

"What happens in a battle between storm troopers and red shirts? (Star Trek) The storm troopers all miss, and the red shirts all die"

"I went downtown today. I was really surprised to see that the stationary store had moved locations"

"My friend says he's got a psychic duck He's got it all dressed up like a gypsy in a little circus tent in his house. ""What are you on?"" I said to him. ""Quack"" said the duck."

"I can't see an end, I have no control and I don't think there's any escape, I don't even have a home anymore...Definitely time for a new keyboard."

"I'll follow my girlfriend into the bathroom watch her close the toilet door, and then ask, ""What are you doing?"""

"Next update: Twitter will tell you what the retweeter is feeling as they retweet your retweet. And what they had for breakfast."

"Eleven Years ago Greece won Euro 2004 Today, Greece would be happy with 2004 Euros."

"What does wearing Crocs and getting your dick sucked by a dude I have in common? They both feel really good but when you look down you know you're gay."

"Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks ""Do all of you want a drink?"" The first logician says ""I don't know."" The second logician says ""I don't know."" The third logician says ""Yes!"""