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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I didn't pay 50 bucks to have a lentil on my face last night."

"*kills time while waitimg for train* oh no with time dead the train will never arrive"

"How do you catch a runaway laptop? With an Internet."

"Why can't Bach play the piano? He ""Baroque"" his arm, and also he's dead."

"They say parrots don't like change... So you could that they are very right-winged."

"the worst part about hitting a child in public... is getting caught by their parents."

"My 3-year-old told me she covered the house in ""fairy dust"" She better mean cocaine because if it's glitter somebody's going to be homeless"

"Why did the plane crash? Becuase the pilot was a loaf of bread. Originated from http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/jq58i/iama_request_popsicle_stick_joke_writer/"

"I was talking to a 12 year old on the Internet when she told me she was an undercover cop I told her I was proud of her That's a really big job for a 12 year old"

"Where do you take a sick ship? To the doc(k)!"