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Joke of the Day
"Remember when that really cute guy held the door for you at the book store? He doesn't."
Next Joke
"What do you call someone who is really good at fishing? A master-baiter"
"Man from Nantucket There once was a man from Nantucket, with a dick so long he could suck it. As he wiped off his chin he said with a grin, if my ear was a cunt I would fuck it."
"How do you piss off a fanboy? Kylo Ren kills Dumbledore."
"My co-worker walks by holding asprin in his hand... He says, they say the weakest link in the chain goes first, I guess that's my head."
"I'm too embarrassed to tell you how many times I've mistaken insulation for cotton candy."
"I'm going to keep using 'penis' as a verb until someone lets me penis them."
"i get sad for like an hour and then happy for 5 minutes and then sad for another hour and then happy for 3 minutes omg break ups r real hard"
"An American and a Muslim are at a bar. Who got there first? The drone."
"I listen to your prayers, but only to correct their grammar."