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Joke of the Day

"Amnesia I was going to tell a joke about amnesia, but I forgot what it was."

"What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common? Hare loss."

"Mom: So, do you have someone special in your life? Me: Define ""someone"" Mom: You know, a boyfriend. Me: Define ""boyfriend"""

"A college girl sends a text to her BF who doesn't respond ""Could this night get any worse?"" unaware that an alien fleet approaches earth"

"What does Axl Rose do before he prays? Gets down on his SHA-NA-NA-NA-NA-KNEES!? KNEES!"

"I think my children are spoiled I must have left them unrefrigerated for too long before eating them."

"If I was a detective, my main suspect would always be the person who returns to the scene of the crime AND is eating a Klondike bar."

"eer booze and fun!' 'I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me."

"DEFENSE! DEFENSE! Defense: I have a boyfriend"

"I wish people were more like dogs and you could just give them those three little pats and they'd know our interaction was over."