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Joke of the Day

"Amnesia I was going to tell a joke about amnesia, but I forgot what it was."

"Can you guys in earlier time zones please tweet me if the world ends in the future?"

"What do you call an Asian who's tolerable some of the time? Occasionally (OK Asian Lee)."

"Did you hear of the 2 thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months."

"I like my whiskey how I like my women... Fifteen years old and mixed up with coke."

"My friend is getting on in years but still wants to stay hip with new technology. I call him Instagrampa."

"So i went to the zoo the other day, but there was only 1 animal there. It was a Shih Tzu"

"My niece guessed the capital of Montana is Hannah, and I had to give it to her because as far as I know that's correct"

"Actually, I'd rather you shut your talk-hole, not your pie-hole. If you have a hole that gives pie, I'm going in there, because HELLO PIE."

"I like my women like my shoes... Black, size thirteen and I pick them up at Walmart."