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Joke of the Day
"When a package says ""Easy Open"" I end up using scissors, knife, hammer, gun and a lightsaber."
Next Joke
"There once was a girl named Roofie... Her blowjobs were really quite toothy. I slipped her a pill, She sucked on my dill, And ended my sexual thrill."
"Loaf me, loaf me, say that you knead me."
"If you think I'm an alcoholic... If you think **I'm** an alcoholic, you should see this guy Jesus he got hammered in my church once."
"I was dating a girl with a lazy eye... but caught her seeing someone on the side."
"If brevity is the soul of wit... Why the fuck are some the jokes posted here so long?"
"What does Snoop Dogg say to his baby? Kushie kushie koo"
"You can tell a lot about a person based on what they use as a gender-neutral singular pronoun."
"How did the blonde burn her nose? Bobbing for french fries."
"I hid a spare key outside my house in a fake rock, then hid that under thousands of fake rocks filled with fake keys. Your move, burglars..."