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Joke of the Day

"If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time."

"If caitlyn Jenner goes missing Do they put her photo on the back of a bottle of tranny fluid"

"Never cry for an onion that doesn't deserve you."

"Everyone thought you could get a writing job from twitter but that never happens anymore its only for things like becoming the president"

"You know what I love about having kids? Not having them."

"Originally I didn't like having a beard but then it grew on me."

"What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot you racist freaks!"

"Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs? Because they always take things, literally."

"Amazon thinks my recent humidifier purchase was merely the inaugural move in a newfound hobby of humidifier collecting."

"I told my parents that I wanted to be a comedian for a living and they laughed at me I guess I'm off to a good start"