35204

Joke of the Day

"How does the Terminator lose weight? By counting Kylereese."

"What did the prostitutes left leg say to the other leg? Between you and me, we can make a lot of money!"

"Did you hear about the guy who told everyone goodbye and then didn't leave? It was much adieu about nothing."

"Screamed in horror as I woke to find two severed horse heads in my bed, but then laughed remembering I hadn't removed the one from yesterday"

"Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money's worth... Just saying."

"There are 2 types of people in this world: Those who pee in the shower... And stinkin' LIARS!"

"If I had all the money, I would pay people to sneak up behind you and blast a bullhorn right before you hit send on a political tweet."

"My new party trick.. I swallow two pieces of string and an hour later they come out of my ass tied together..... I shit you knot."""

"Horse buying tip: ALWAYS ask how much horsepower a horse has. If a horse is less than one horsepower, you've got yourself a crap horse."

"I heard going on the internet gives you dementia. Who are you?"