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Joke of the Day
"Me on the Phone: I'm going to ""work"" from home today. My Boss: I heard those air quotes."
Next Joke
"On your deathbed tell everyone ""pray for me"" then make sure to leave a note to be opened after you die that says ""pray harder next time"""
"Remember how much you used to like this song?- Car ads."
"How are dildos and tofu alike? They're both meat substitutes."
"So there we were, 2 vs 100. We prepared our attack and started off strong... Killed 'em both."
"Why does it take 2 feminists to screw in a lightbulb? One to screw in the lightbulb and one to give me a blow job while I supervise."
"I spent the night on a 4th dimensional alien ship. Surprisingly the surroundings were very familiar. Except in the bathroom they had a glory cube."
"Don't be sad dirty dishes, nobody's doing me either."
"I went for a run in morning but came home after 2 minutes coz I forgot something I forgot that I'm so fat that I can only run for 2 minutes"
"I wish more religions took advantage of a vow of silence."