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Joke of the Day

"Cyclists want to be treated like motorists until there's a red light. Then all of a sudden they're pedestrians."

Next Joke
 
"An alpaca made me an offer I couldn't refuse. I guess it was an Alpac'ino."
"Did you hear about the bedbug? He was undercover."
"Him: You'll always be the one that got away. Me: Escaped. Him: What? Me: I said Thanks."
"What's the difference between a magicians wand and a police baton? The magician's wand is used for cunning stunts"
"[PICKLE] Our first chance to help our new ally! http://www.reddit.com/r/pickle/comments/1a2xg8/next_attack_for_our_entire_army_march_12th_at_520/"
"I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day.. ..it smells better than real poo."
"To try change my friends mind about puns I told him one a day for 10 days to try and get him to laugh But no pun in ten did."
"What's the best type of monastery to send troublesome teens to? A Beenadickteen one"
"You were beautiful in my dreams, but a fucking nightmare in reality."