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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the bedbug? He was undercover."

"What do you call an ass on steroids? Assteroid."

"I'm not crazy, my reality is just prettier than yours."

"*gets bitten by a radioactive bear *before developing super powers, gets eaten by radioactive bear"

"My kids don't believe that before video games, we used to have to go out and buy a hedgehog, paint it blue, then give it cocaine."

"What is the difference between an american and a canadian? 69 cents."

"kid doctor: [looking over charts] im not going to lie this is the worst case of cooties ive ever seen little girl: he said he'd been tested!"

"Has Jack Johnson done a TED talk on chillaxing yet?"

"Did you hear Willie Nelson got run over? He was playing on the road again."

"If 9/11 happened in Vegas, no one would have ever known due to that silly motto."