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Joke of the Day

"[PICKLE] Our first chance to help our new ally! http://www.reddit.com/r/pickle/comments/1a2xg8/next_attack_for_our_entire_army_march_12th_at_520/"

"Your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. It takes an average of 70-80 years."

"Bill Joe Armstrong (From Greenday) was walking down the street. A girl walked past him and said ""Wow, you smell amazing."" He replied: ""That's because I wore cologne, I wore cologne."""

"Researchers found a deep-ocean microbe which could explain transition from simple to complex cells However, it passed away before it even had begun explaining."

"Charities - Because nothing shows how far your 2/month could go than a 100 million advertising campaign."

"Carl: ""It's chilly out."" Me: ""Tell me something I don't know."" ""Two dogs were hanged during the Salem witch trials."" ""Fair enough, Carl."""

"You can't threaten me with Work when I came to Work."

"'NO NO NO NO NO NO' - My brain, every time words start coming out of my mouth."

"My uncle the rabbi only tips 10% And a I mean always! He does that shit religiously!"

"Its ironic that the gay club was called ""pulse""... As 50 people didn't have one after the shooting"