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Joke of the Day

"*waiter pouring wine* Say when sir *wine slowly fills up the restaurant*"

"""You ask."" ""No, you ask!"" ""Will you please ask?"" ""Why can't you ask?"" ""Fine... Hey my FRIEND wants to ask you something!"""

"A subtle joke A cannibal passes his friend in the woods."

"Why do elephants eat raw food ? Because they don't know how to cook !"

"My weird paranoid neighbor, shreds all her mail and closes all the shades. But never locks her basement window."

"A black kid asks his father"

"3 days before Christmas, my wife drops her 2007-era iPhone in a public toilet. I get the hint. She wants me to get her a much cheaper phone."

"Whenever my ex-girlfriend regrets her abortion... ...she just calls and talks to me for an hour."

"When someone's all, ""Words cannot begin to describe ..."" I'm all YES THEY CAN YOU HAVE A LIMITED VOCABULARY."

"When does every cat want to be fed? Right fucking meow"