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Joke of the Day

"If some last names were an ancestor's profession (Baker, Cobbler) How do you explain Dickinson?"

"My Future I have a lot more trust and faith in my guidance counselor's advice after getting an empty fortune cookie at a chinese restaurant."

"Jimmy was eating ice cream but dropped it as he crossed the street. Why? He was hit by a bus."

"Where do cousins come from? Ant holes"

"Currently eating organic raspberries that I didn't wash over my kitchen sink, in case any ladies out there dig the whole ""bad boy"" persona."

"Boy: Dad Dad come out. My sister's fighting this ten foot gargoyle with three heads. Dad: No I'm not coming out. She's going to have to learn to look after herself."

"The Water Board sent me a notice saying that my bill was a year old, I obviously apologised for forgetting, and sent them a birthday card."

"Why can't the pirate get to any subreddits? He keeps typing /arrr/"

"What do elephants use for tampons? Sheep"

"Why did the zombie turtle have so much trouble dancing? Rigor tortoise."