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Joke of the Day

"saw girl I have crush on with her new fiance at Ikea but you know what they say, when God closes a Stras Innjrden he opens a Fonstrvivig"

"Where do dumb aliens go? Area 52"

"[job interview] ""Name one of your strengths"" I didn't stab anyone today ""That's not-"" Yesterday wasn't so good tho"

"""I'M A DOG!"" ""I'M A DOG TOO!"" ""WE'RE DOGS!"" - dogs"

"What's the best part of having a kid? The chewy center."

"A local bakery caught fire last night The whole place is toast"

"When life gives you melons... ...you probably have dyslexia."

"that's right. you know how to get down off an elephant? - you don't you get down from a duck."

"How does a Jew do the gardening? He moses lawn."

"What bird can lift the most? A crane"