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Joke of the Day

"that's right. you know how to get down off an elephant? - you don't you get down from a duck."

"Thou shalt not winky face smiley another man's twitter crush. -Emojenesis 8:15"

"I like my women like I like my weather. 60 and dry."

"What happened when the gay guy put a nicoderm patch on his wiener? He cut down to two butts a day"

"To the guy that invented the number zero Thanks for nothing."

"How many bass players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Five. One."

"What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken. Edited for spelling, even though the guy was a stuffy old turd about it. :D HEYOOO"

"What do women and condoms have in common? They spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."

"A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says... ""What's with the steering wheel on the front of your pants?"" The pirate says, ""Argh!! I don't know but it's driving me testicles!!!"""

"Why did the scarecrow get an award? He was out standing in his field...."