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Joke of the Day
"What did they egg say to the boiling water? It might take me a while to get hard. I just got laid."
Next Joke
"If you hate awkward silences, then necrophilia isn't for you."
"7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy? Me: 7 years 7y: how long have you got left?"
"How did the redneck find his sister in the woods? Pretty hot."
"It's my ninth anniversary on Twitter. I could not have done it without my ex-wife and my kids whose names I no longer remember."
"Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? No one, they both eat out."
"Did you hear the one about the chicken and the egg? They were trying to get each other off!"
"*Buys map of world, pins up on wall *Throws dart, swears to visit wherever it lands *packs for wall 3 feet away *has an amazing time at wall"
"When I bend down to feed the cat she leaps onto my back.When I try to stand back up it's the saddest tiny rodeo you've ever seen."
"What's the number one cause of pedophilia? sexy kids"