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Joke of the Day

"They say you are what you eat So I bought myself some ""ready to eat Apricots"" And after I bought them I was indeed, ready to eat Apricots."

"Little Johnny walks in on his naked mom... sees her little bush and asks: -Mommy what's that? -It's uh... a spider! -Oh, be careful or it'll bite your pussy!"

"Holiday sex is the best sex ever..... That was the hardest postcard from my wife to read!"

"Maybe I have a bunny in my pants, maybe that's why I'm putting this salad in my pockets, you don't know me."

"Who ate a lot and conquered Rome? Atilla the Hungry."

"Why do teenage girls always hang out in odd numbers? Because they can't even."

"There once was a man named Dave... who found a dead whore in a cave. She was ugly as shit, and missing one tit, but think of the money he'd save."

"I'm working on a gangsa Christmas song My working title is ""Santa and His Three Hos"""

"A blind guy walks into a bar... And into a table.. and a chair..."

"75% of humans masterbate in the shower, the other 25% hum, do you know what song they hum? Well then I guess I know which percentage you're in."