34771

Joke of the Day

"They say you are what you eat So I bought myself some ""ready to eat Apricots"" And after I bought them I was indeed, ready to eat Apricots."

"It has been scientifically proven that women with few pounds extra tend to live a lot longer than... ...men who point that out."

"How do you fit 25 Jews in a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and 20 in the ashtray"

"What is the difference between a kid and a fridge The fridge does not scream when I put my meat in it."

"What a gay spermatozoide says to an other gay sermatozoide ? Damn dude i can't See anything through all That Shit."

"If you swap the fried cheese for cheese, the beer for wine and the cheese art for actual art, Wisconsin is just like France."

"[Enter restaurant] WIFE: See if you can get us a table ME: Ok [1 minute later] ME: [sprinting towards wife, carrying table] START THE CAR"

"What kind of soldier doesn't need bullets? The kind of soldier that's always shooting his mouth off."

"If flying by the seat of your pants was so easy, do you think I would still be dealing with morning traffic to get to work?"

"Mercurian day So - apparently one day on Mercury is an agonisingly long 1408 earth hours long... In other words - one Earth Monday."