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Joke of the Day

"A man goes to a house of ill repute on his hundredth birthday He tells the madam, ""I'd like a woman."" ""Forget it old man, you've had it."" ""How much do I owe you?"""

Next Joke
 
"What goes ""ha ha, thump thump?"" A guy laughing his balls off."
"When I see someone pushing a dog in a stroller I understand why the news is filled with murder."
"Just straight up LIED to my dog's FACE (told him his breakfast looked ""delicious"")"
"why does Snoop Dogg use and umbrella? for drizzle.."
"What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spitting, swallowing and gargling."
"What did the Frenchman say when he saw a dirty toilet? Eau de Toilette! (eww, the toilet)"
"Did you guys hear about the serial killer who's using smaller and smaller socks to strangle each new victim? Be careful, they say he's still at large."
"What's the difference... Q: What's the difference between a brown-noser and an ass-kisser? A: Depth Perception"
"I tried committing suicide today Not going to do that again almost killed myself"