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Joke of the Day

"I used to collect old broken pocket watches.. But now I barely have the time."

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"Why can't Quentin Tarantino make a good first impression? He's always getting off on the wrong foot."
"I put coffee in my aquarium filter. The water wasn't any cleaner, but the fish swam REALLY FAST."
"What did the lawyer say when he stepped in dog shit? Help me..... I'm melting"
"Snake walks into a bar... Bartender says ""How'd you do that?"""
"I won my first cage fight last night... Fucking Parrot didn't know what hit it."
"me: i'm here for stabbing lessons clerk: sir this is a fencing clu me: yeah whatever hand me a knife clerk: ... me: dress me like a beekeeper"
"What subreddit is the same as a recycling machine and will disappoint people [removed] ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Yesididjustcombine2jokes"
"My biggest fear is that I'm holding my baby and a rapper asks me to put my hands in the air."
"How many women does it take. . . to screw in a lightbulb in a convent? Nun."