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Joke of the Day

"What's yellow and flys through walls? A magic banana..."

"Happy Passive Aggressive day! Don't worry, I didn't want you to get me anything anyway. No, it's fine. Don't worry about it."

"Dolls have given us an unrealistic image of women. For example, Russian women do not contain smaller Russian women inside them."

"The best thing about going on a first date to the petting zoo is that if she doesn't put out there are still plenty of options."

"Why is horse racing so romantic? Because the horse hugs the rails the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye!"

"I greet all my daughter's boyfriends with, ""I used to molest guys like you in prison."""

"Me: "" *types in password*, Password Doesn't Work"" ** OMG I'M HACKED**.... *oh wait... never mind, CAPS LOCK WAS ON..*"

"Did you hear about the man who was into asphyxiation and vegetables? He liked being artichoked."

"What do you call a sad Ent? Mourning wood."

"Folks, I've thought of a way to save 2016: James Corden and a bus full of celebs singing We Are The World, then the bus goes over a cliff"