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Joke of the Day
"911 OPERATOR (female): What's your emergency GUY (being murdered): Haha nothing what are you up to"
Next Joke
"Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night... Me and my girlfriend tried anal the other night for the first time. didn't go so well. no idea how my ass is supposed to fit inside her vagina..."
"Pro Tip for the ladies. Ask him to show you where the ""jack thingy"" is at in the trunk and when he shows you.. That's when you push him in."
"I wish I could go back in time so I could remember where I was going with this update"
"Did you hear about the actress who stabbed her husband at dinner? That blonde girl Reese.... Not Witherspoon, with her knife."
"What do you call Muhammad Ali after he eats lots of beans? Gaseous Clay"
"When the doctor prescribed the millennium a medical dog he was surprised the patient asked ""how do i smoke it"""
"Who is the only person able to knock out Ronda Rousey? Bill Cosby"
"I bought an extension ladder from a recovering alcoholic on Craigslist... But it only has 12 Steps!"
"What does Michael Jackson and McDonalds have in common? They both stick their raw meat into five year old buns. It's been almost 6 years...is it okay to make jokes yet?"