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Joke of the Day
"I'd like deadlines more if they were called happy endings."
Next Joke
"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... Ba Dum Tiss"
"Kennedy put a man on the moon.... Obama put a man in the ladies room."
"What's the difference between Harry Potter and the Jews? Harry Potter made it out of the chamber"
"I just found a half eaten hotdog inside of a Mr.Potatohead in the hamper. Living with a toddler is like living with a tiny hammered person."
"You ever lied so much on a resume, you're actually shocked that they gave you the job? I mean look at me, do I look like an astronaut?"
"If Trump and Hillary are both drowning and you could only save one... What type of sandwich would you make?"
"Life is like a Penis It's simple, relaxed and hanging free most of the time. It's women who make it hard."
"What job did the farmer give to his learning-disabled child? Herder"
"*accidentally grabs a fork from the silverware drawer instead of a spoon but I'm too lazy to go back so it takes me 47 min. to eat my soup*"