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Joke of the Day
"An owl told me a great joke the other day. Oh man, *it was a hoot*!"
Next Joke
"Never test the depth of the water with both feet."
"Those goddamn Asian drivers....... Always crashing my PC"
"If I was named Edward Normus, I'd use my first name's initial and my last name as much as I possibly could."
"Raccoons wearing tiny little glasses, digging through trash and carefully reading nutritional information of any food items they find."
"I have batlike reflexes. -You mean catlike reflexes? *screeches real loud right in your face to locate food and avoid obstacles*"
"Me: 911? My wife and I have been in an accident and she hit the windshield! 911: How's her head? Me: Her sister's better."
"If you can't afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don't know where you are!"
"Just dropped a book on my head guess I am only to blame my shelf"
"Whenever I hear someone died of natural causes, I think, ""Wait a minute. I have that."""