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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a self absorbed lobster? A little shellfish! I'll^see^myself^out..."

"What kind of snake is it good to have on a car? Windshield vipers."

"Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal? He ran his business on a skeleton crew."

"Wanna buy a coffin?! So a guy comes up to me the other day and asked if I wanted to buy a coffin and I said ""That's the last thing I'll ever need."""

"Ariel: ""But I love him, daddy!"" *sobs as King Tritan rips her iPhone away and unfollows PrinceEric69*"

"HELLO I SEE THAT YOU SLIGHTLY TOUCHED YOUR MOUSE WOULD YOU LIKE TO UPDATE JAVA?"

"Just saw a girl wearing a ""BAD GAL"" t-shirt so I yelled ""NO!"" & smacked her on the nose with a rolled up newspaper."

"What does a drama student do while stuck in math class? She Cos(plays)"

"Remember to make short sighted assumptions and rash decisions with almost no information today."

"Love is overrated it's only 5 pts in Scrabble."