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Joke of the Day

"Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they've no pockets to put things in !"

"What's the difference between Indiana and Reddit? In Reddit, you get served no matter who you are."

"Treat your woman like a princess. Spice up your relationship & have her kidnapped. Then do mushrooms & swim through the sewers to find her."

"A skink and a skunk had a baby what did they call it? Bustamante. After the grandfather."

"A funny thing I like to do is yell 'God, not your WHOLE hand' when the doctor does a pelvic exam."

"Pros and cons of guys Cons: they're dicks Pros: their dicks"

"3 horrible things in life: 1) Seeing your mom cry. 2) Seeing the love of your life fall in love with somebody else. 3) Slow Internet."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? I don't want to peanut butter my dick up your ass."

"I just got a Sleep Number mattress, and it turns out my sleep number is 911. Because a night in my bed, you'll never forget."

"911: What's your emergency? Me: Whatcha dooooin'? 911: Sir, are you in danger? Me: *giggles* You're always so worried, but I'm fine, silly"